Eight Effective Tips To Let Your Child Speak To You
This article will teach you effective ways to talk to your child. By following tips mentioned herein they will help you to improve your child’s self-esteem and confidence to better communicate with you.
Use your critics appropriately
If you want your child to speak to you, do not criticize him at the first place. A scold or a criticism is a “killer” to close up the conversation between you and your child. Also, do not draw any conclusions earlier without listening to his explanation. You should behave like an audience who wishes to listen to him patiently and attentively in order to catch his interest to speak more to you. After his story, reward or praise him by guiding him to solve the problems.
Create an opportunity
“Son, let’s have a talk!” , a common starting point most people will use to begin a conversation with their children, but this will finally end up you yourself is lecturing but your child keep his mouth zipped. You should create an opportunity while doing outdoors activities with your child. When playing football with your child, you can use this opportunity to talk to him. You may even talk to your child while on the way driving back. If you want to understand your child better, create some situations that will not make your child feels pressure to open his mouth. When you wish to ask your child some questions, try to avoid “Why?” in your conversation. As this simple word : “why” will make your child becomes violence and rebellious against you.
Control your reaction
If your child tells you that he is not selected for a school football team, do not react upon this by showing that you feel very sad and disappointed. Your child is very smart as he can read your facial expression. So, be careful in whatever reactions you take. If this happens, he will only tell you a good new in the future. No matter your child tells you a good or a bad new, you should remain calm and pleased to listen.
Choose the right time
Your child may have lots of things to tell you after the meal particularly at 7p.m. You may have lots of plates to wash, table to clear up, floor to mop, but wait for a moment before doing these household chores. Spend some time at the table to listen to your child’s story. Adults always ignore this important timetable by planning ahead activities to be carried out. You should appreciate this moment and let your child to talk for a while. Otherwise, he will feel hurt and not to speak to you anymore as he feels that you are not paying attention to him.
Reward the honestly
When your child did a mistake, do not at the first place scold or punish him. If he admitted his fault, you should reward his honesty by forgiving him. Your child will feel very anxious when doing mistakes, as he thinks that this will upset you and finally he will scare of losing your love and attention. You should cultivate good habits and virtues in his life. Most importantly train him to admit his fault bravely in front of you without telling you a false story.
Respect to the privacy
Though how close are you to your child, he sometimes will have some secrets to keep away from your knowledge. This is particularly obvious when he reaches his puberty period. At this stage, he will apart from you by having not so close relationship with you. He will feel more secure and reliable to turn to his friends. When this situation happens, do not scold or ignore your child. What you should do is to let him know that you will be by his side no matter what happens. Let him feel your love and acceptance, so that he may open his mouth to speak to you without facing any obstacles or gaps. Do not fence up yourself, try to be understandable and close to your child.
Keep things secret
Let us imagine, one of your best friends tell you something very important and privacy, if by accidentally you revealed this secret to someone else, what will your best friend feel? Of course, he will feel very hurt and he will not believe on you anymore. Similarly, when your child tells you something, you should keep the things secret. By keeping it secret, your child will feel secure to speak to you and will tell you anything he knows. If one day your child feels that you leaked out his secret, he is not going to speak to you anymore as he feels that you are not a reliable person to rely on. Finally, he losses his confidence to speak to you. This is probably the fastest way that your child will feel disappointed to speak to you.
Correct the fault immediately
No matter how you are alerted and careful, you sometimes make mistake in front of your child. When this situation happens, it is very important to correct it immediately. You should admit your mistakes without blaming or pointing the accusing fingers towards the child for doing wrong things. At the same time, you should apologize to him to make things cleared out. Otherwise, he may lose confidence towards you and feel like not going to tell you his affairs anymore.
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